2 old but very appropriate jokes
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Miami Dolphin football practice was delayed nearly two hours today after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. Coach Tony Sparano immediately suspended practice while police were called to investigate. After a complete analysis, experts determined that the white substance unknown to players was the goal line. Practice was resumed after it was decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again.
One Sunday afternoon, a guy walks into a bar with his pet dog. The bartender said, "Sorry, pal. No pets allowed." The man replied, "This is a special dog. Turn on the Dolphins game and you'll see." The bartender, anxious to see what will happen, turned on the game. The guy said, "Watch. Whenever the Dolphins score, my dog does flips." The Dolphins keep scoring field goals and the dog keeps flipping and jumping. "Wow! That's one hell of a dog you got there. What happens when the Dolphins score a touchdown?" asked the bartender. The man replied, "I don't know. I've only had him for three years."
A lawyer is talking to an only child, whose parents are in the middle of a divorce. he asks the child, if he would like to live with his father to which the child replies, "No, he beats me!"
The lawyer asks if the child would rather live with his mother and the child replies, "No, she beats me, too!"
The surprised lawyer asks the child where he would like to live, since both parents beat him, and the child replies, "I want to live with the Miami Dolphins! They don't beat anyone!"
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/18/2011 06:22AM by (R/J)ay.
Chad Henne, Tony Sporano and Brandon Marshall walk into a bar, the bartender looks at them and upon recognizing them he narrows his eyes and says the usual, "So what will it be boys?". Marshall looks sideways at Henne and Henne shrugs his shoulders and turns to look at Sporano. Sporano wipes a brand new bead of sweat of his brow and says in kind of a half whisper, "excuse me sir one moment". Another guy walks into the bar, its Carpenter, he points at the guys and turns to speak to the bartender "A round for my unemployed friends if you please." The bartender serves up four drinks. Sporano Fist Pumps as he downs his beer, Marshall gets too excited and drops the beer, and Henne he just shrugs his shoulders and looks confused.
Some fans got to interact with players and coaches at the Miami Dolphins practice facility, then a minor explosion occurred starting a fire.
Someone yelled to get everyone out of the building immediately to which Tony Sparano shouted " Quick! women, children and Dan Carpenter first!
as a new england life long resident i have a much deeper appreciation for the tony eason steve grogan(god i wish we had him) days pats fans had to endure..i miss them no one up here ever wanted to talk football back then now they just get all giddy and stuff every sunday the bastards
angryseas2000 Wrote:
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> as a new england life long resident i have a much
> deeper appreciation for the tony eason steve
> grogan(god i wish we had him) days pats fans had
> to endure..i miss them no one up here ever wanted
> to talk football back then now they just get all
> giddy and stuff every sunday the bastards
They still beat us a few times in those days too! I haven't
There were a few Bledsoe seasons like that too. Nothing was funnier than tuning in to Boston sports radio on a Monday and listening to that blowhard Eddie Andelman whining about the Pats' performance:
"fowah turnovahs in the first HOFFFF and another two in the second HOFF"
Those were the days; may Gisele command that Brady retire soon to bring those days back again!